MAYOR OF PONCE: Rock & Other Four Letter Words

Stuff I think about, but not thoroughly…

·         I was driving through Mobile, Alabama the other day and saw a flier for a hip hop group called “Mobil-anaires”. That’s pretty awesome. Right off the bat and they're already more interesting than the dreadfully boring Selmanaires.

·         Why does Janelle Monae always look so surprised in her photos…

Or doing magic. From Outer Space.

·         What the hell ever happened to Lil Jon? He’s probably off in his glittery lab trying to merge Crunk and country. Look out for “Crunktry” music, annoying people Fall of 2009.

·         And what the hell ever happened to the new Outkast record that was finished along with their two solo records!?!  Didn’t we hear about that forever ago? Forever-ever ago??

Get it together, boys.

·         Hoffman won for Rain Man. Penn won for I Am Sam. You play a retard, you win the Oscar. How the hell did Josh Brolin not win for W.?

·         The Audacity of Coke. That would be a great title for Bush’s memoir that I’m sure he’s not working on. But seriously, who's going to write that piece of shit?

·         The other day, my roommate was at American Apparel with Jared Swilley of Black Lips. They were hitting on this cute breezy behind the counter. So they ask if she’s going to the Black Lips show later that night. In all seriousness she shrugs, “Ughh… They’re old news.”

Now that’s funny.

In all seriousness American Apparel; nice, gold leotard. Exactly when did “clown hooker” get in style?

·         Speaking of haute couture: Snuggie Bar Crawl! Who’s with me?

·         My new #1 dude I’d love to get drunk with: Peter O’toole. Look him up if you’re not familiar. You’ll thank me when you see me out. 

He would look good in a Snuggie. Scotch in hand. Maybe the only person on the planet to make a Snuggie look kinda bad ass.

·         My old #1 dude to get bombed with: David Lee Roth.

He’s king of the 10-liners. A classic Diamond DLR quote, “I used to do a lot of coke in the '80s… now I do it in any temperature”.

·         I think a good band name would be "Weekend At Bernie Mac’s". Or maybe a good indie band name, “Vampire Weekend At Bernie Mac’s.”

So those are up for grabs if anyone wants them.

And I can't figure out who has the worst band name of all-time: Mudvayne or Staind. Atleast Staind doesn't try and be Beatle's clever and spell it Stayned.

Aight then AMG. Hope everyone had wonderful Zombie Day yesterday. See ya when I see ya. Seacreast OUT!

And I'll leave you with one more classic quote from the Diamond one,

"I used to jog, but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass."