GOODTIMES & GREAT OLDIES: Part 2 of 3, Mayor of Ponce

MayorofPonceRadioNever gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you”

Rick Astley had it right. Sure, he wasn’t talking about Atlanta radio – more than likely it was someone with a side spike and turquoise jean shorts. But it still translates. No matter how outdated and behind the times, some people will never give up what they’re familiar to. Like reading the AJC on actual newsprint rather than on a computer screen, or trying to make a “super booty dance party” playlist on an iPod you don’t know how to work. The unfamiliar can be quite terrifying.

                And what the hell is a Blu-ray? DVD’s still work, right?

                Whether it be Coke, Pepsi or Dr. Thunder, switching a brand can tamper with comfort levels.  Steve and Vicki were a running punchline in Atlanta for years in the mid-‘90s. They epitomized soccer mom lameness. After over a decade-long (insanely successful) stint at Star 94, they were finally pushed aside for a younger, zanier, “Morning Mess.”  And the replacements are just that – a mess.  A painfully domestic mess.

                But luckily Steve and Vicki landed down the dial on the older, more mature B-98.5. So mature that I don’t even think the B stands for anything other than the first call letter. No “Bitchin,” or “Baller,” or what I would’ve went with, “BOO-YA 98.” Just plain ol’ B-98.5.  And I take comfort in that. And even though Steve McCoy is about as hip and edgy as the “Family Matters” episode where “Myrtle Erkel” comes to visit, it’s still nice to know he’s there. Comforting.

                A divorcee in Lawrenceville is shrugging her shoulders.

                So things change.

 As much love as Fox 97 had, it did have its shortcomings. Even though its format had two decades of the greatest music ever smoked up and created waiting in its vault, it was some knucklehead in a suit whose idea it was to have a tiny and precise playlist. Maybe 200 songs on repeat. Of course everyone loved Dion’s “Run Around Sue,” but after you hear it three times in one week it starts to bother you. After 15 times in a month you really start to resent Sue. And after a year, you really start to hate that slut for running around on every walking boner at the soda fountain. You have to learn to keep away from Runaround Sue. Fox 97 only told you a million times.

So things change. Sometimes for the better.

There’s a new oldies station in Atlanta and it’s absolutely delightful. True Oldie’s 106.7. And no song considered to have anything to do with oldies is off limits, from the Junkie XL remix of Elvis’ “Little Less Conversation” to Billy Joel’s ‘80s tribute to ‘50s doo-wop with “Uptown Girl.” Whatever’s clever, they’ll spin it.

Sadly it’s not local; it’s a nationally syndicated station from God knows where. But I have a sneaking suspicion it’s from beaming from a basement of what seems to be their only DJ. His name is Scott Shannon and he’s on every time I’m in the car – and I’d rather it be that way.  A true throwback that seems like he could smack down Bert from “The Bert Show” while choking out Ryan Seacrest at a Dunwoody TGIFriday’s, all while not letting the needle scratch on the Herman’s Hermits deep cut he was spinning.

Casey Casem is shrugging his shoulders.

So things change.

People in this town seem to forget how influential, powerful, and just plain outstanding 99X was. All the cool, indie, Cabbagetown kids will smirk at that statement, but screw them. I’m sorry you had a shitty childhood and you hated high school. While you were sulking to The Cure, kids all over Atlanta were out having the time of their lives at Mistle Toe Jams, Brouhahas, Big Days Out, On the Bricks, Downtown Rocks, Sinner’s Balls, Music Midtowns, Chinese New Years  and Unplugged in the Parks. So what you stopped listening to the Red Hot Chili Peppers after Blood Sugar Sex Magic? There’s something sugary magical about having illegal Miller Lite’s with other high school kids from all over the metro area. All you needed was one fake ID and there you were, all tingly headed trying to get pager numbers from the Parkview cheerleader squad with Third Eye Blind blasting as your out of tune soundtrack.

So those indie kids can smirk all they want at mainstream radio. I loved my childhood. I had my Freeloader card. And I was 99X. And I’m really happy for you that your bicycle doesn’t have gears.

Someone at Estoria 97 is shrugging their shoulders.

I think Leslie Fram’s on-air personality is very phoney. Off-air, very calculated. But damned if she isn’t brilliant. Basically, without management’s approval, she and Sean Demery at then Power99 switched formats in the cover of the night from top 40, to a new, alternative grunge sound that was generating from Seattle. 99X was literally born from their personal CD collections. Not sure what you call that, but that’s a pretty gangster-ass, punk rock move if you ask me. You have to nod and tip your ATL cap.

 Launching bands and careers over the next decade, it was her shrewd knack for the industry that had every station in the country looking to 99.7 to see what could move the needle. She had the brilliant vision and ear to hire talent like Jay Harren and Fred Toucher. As much as she gets under my skin, for reasons that I can’t really explain, I have tremendous respect for her. And how could anyone ever put up with the lunatic, pistol-toting, tennis-loving, ego monster Steve Barnes for so many mornings is beyond me. Plus she canned pompous Jeff Clark from his Sunday night show.

Damn. Maybe I should rethink this whole hating Leslie Fram thing. She made our city better, and I’d have to hug her for that.

But things change. Sometimes for the worse.

99X eventually waned and was sold to media giant Cumulous, and the likes of Jay Harren, Toucher, Dekker and Jimmy Baron were all eventually let go to roam free in a bleak radio land. Leaving only Fram and the recently brought back Demery to go down with the ship, their grungy, flannel wearing baby.

The ‘90s are shrugging their shoulders.

Part 3 will conclude my indulgent trip down the radio dial. We here at AMG will leave no nail salon, Pottery Barn, or synagogue unsearched in our quest for the truth as to why Bert Weiss rarely wears a shirt in prom shots. We will also try and figure out if Ryan Cameron has ever said anything funny… even though he laughs at all his jokes.

POST SCRIPT: Ahh, wait up, I remember why I don’t like Fram. She brought the bozo Jenners into Atlanta’s radio sphere. That unfunny dip shit made Q100’s Jeff Dauler seem like Richard Fucking Pryor.

Comments

  1. did ya know Jimmy Baron had a short lived film career? a little “cameo” in Risky Business as “the kid in the window” and in John Cusack’s The Sure Thing as “guy at Frat party.”

  2. or course I know that Luis. duhhh.
    I guess you could call it a cameo, because Tom Cruise calls him “Jimmy”. I remember they had Tom on the Morning X and he claims to remember JB.
    what a freak.
    I actually didnt know about the Cusack movie, though.

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