Christina Aguilera versus Patton Oswalt versus Alice In Chains versus Jonas Brothers

Ultimate Celebrity Death Match? Nah, but wouldn’t that be awesome?

Christina Aguilera with Leona Lewis, Thursday – August 5 at Aaron’s Amphitheater at Lakewood
Xtina is back this summer with her new record BIONIC out June 8, a new tour, and – we can only assume – a new shiny dominatrix getup. Tickets for Christina Aguilera and Leona Lewis at Aaron’s Amphitheater at Lakewood go on sale Friday, May 21GET TICKETS HERE.UPDATE: The Christina Aguilera tour will be moved to 2011 due to prior commitments and time restraints. Official tour dates will be announced soon.

Patton Oswalt, Saturday – August 21 at The Tabernacle
Pudgy, self-deprecating, hilarious. Patton Oswalt is one of the funniest stand-up comedians on the road today. Part of a super-power of funny including Zack Galifianakis, Brian Posehn, Maria Bamford and several other comedians, Oswalt’s observational humor makes you realize it is in fact the little things in life that matter the most, or at least they are what we should be laughing at. Tickets are on sale now for Patton Oswalt at the Tabernacle Saturday, August 21. GET TICKETS HERE.

Alice In Chains with Deftones and Mastodon – Tuesday, September 28 at Aaron’s Amphitheater at Lakewood
Could there be a more perfect representation of rock ‘n’ roll in one night? Alice In Chains, Deftones and Mastadon join forces for the BlackDiamondSkye tour. We don’t mean to go all Nostradamus on AMG, but we predict this trifecta of rock may cause the earth to shift just enough that we spin into another galxy where everyone wears black and belongs to a biker gang. Tickets go on sale Saturday, May 22. GET TICKETS HERE.

Jonas Brothers with Demi Lovato – Thursday, October 14 at Aaron’s Amphitheater at Lakewood
Disney created the Jonas Brothers, 12-year-old girls and their parents’ credit cards sponsored them, and now the boy band could probably bail out Greece and still have enough left over for their great-great-great-great grandchildren to buy a Lamborghini. Yeah, they’re pretty much Olsen twin rich. Tickets go on sale Saturday, May 22 at 10AM. GET TICKETS HERE.

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